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	Detecting lies and manipulations, part 2 - I hate him (or her or it)  The liar will say negative things about the person with whom she has an illicit or hidden relationship, so that you would never think of them together.  Or the liar may mention things about a person designed to give you a negative image of that person.  You may then assume that the liar also dislikes the person.  Be sensitive to a person's efforts to cut you off from other people in their life.  Never blindly assume that any person could not somehow be associated with any other person. - Unclear meaning  Many words and phrases can have multiple meanings.  For example a liar may say something unclear about what he is going to do so he can claim that he "told you about it" and you were OK with it.  Here again, paying attention, listening carefully, and asking questions are important skills.   - Insider jokes  Liars will sometimes make comments they consider to be jokes which can be revealing. It may not be phrased like a joke, but you may imagine the liar laughing with other insiders about having made the comment right to your face.  A lady I believe engages in compulsive sexual behavior commented to me several times how she never got good service at a particular store.  I had read this store had problems with gay sex in the rest rooms.  Translation; she was joking that the gay guys there were not interested in her offers of sex in return for merchandise or special considerations. - Don't answer  The liar simply fails to respond to your question.  This may be combined with, for example, changing the subject or getting emotional in hopes that you will fail to notice the evasion. - Answer the wrong question  The liar responds to you as if you had asked a different question.  For example;  Mom: "Did you finish your homework?"  Child: "You know I'm trying for all A's this semester!" - Answer a question with a question  When questioned or confronted the liar will question you.  This can change the subject, make you question the logic of your suspicions, and allows the liar to gather information about what you know so that he can shape his responses accordingly.  Insist on straight answers before you answer other questions.  Say, "It's improper to answer a question with another question." - Manipulate you into doing something wrong  This may even involve other people working with the liar to put you in a position where it is easier for you to lie than admit some uncomfortable truth.  The assumption would be, "It's OK to lie to a liar"  This is the excuse the liar may fall back on if necessary.  People who have done something wrong may suffer guilt feelings which make them easier to manipulate.  Having secrets to hide in general makes one more vulnerable to manipulation.  We all have vulnerabilities.  Try to keep it together so yours won't be exploited.  Never blindly assume that any person could not be somehow associated with any other person. - Play stupid, play innocent  The liar pretends to know nothing about a subject about which, in fact, she knows plenty.  It may be to protect herself or to avoid educating you.  If the liar is doing this, then she is choosing her own secretiveness over freely sharing information with you.  She values you being stupid over helping you to learn and grow.   Why would you want to be with someone who instead of giving you nourishment for growth, feeds you styrofoam? - Role Playing / cubby-holed life  The liar will attempt to keep different parts of his life separate from each other.  This is often because the liar plays different people in different environments.  The devoted family man might be greedy and aggressive at work and play a swinging single when out of town.  Beware when people keep you away from other people in their life. - Lack of genuine emotions  Driving home late one night with a seemingly sweet lady, we came across a sad scene where a fox had been run over and another fox, perhaps its mate, stayed right next to the body until I was quite close.  The animal's natural shyness was seemingly overcome by devotion to its mate, now dead.  After I put the dead animal off the road so that the other fox wouldn't also get hit, my companions only comment was, "They're cute!".  She completely missed the emotional content of the situation.  The point here is that survivors of abuse may be stunted in their emotional growth.  People with character disorders may act charming, but they may have to fake emotions they do not actually experience.  One clue to this is when the liar shifts seamlessly from one emotion to another in rapid succession.  They are simply acting. - Spy, secret agent  Spies and secret agents are not just government types.  There are many active secret groups in the world.  It seems likely we are watched more than we realize.  Freemasons can secretly converse with each other in public using memorized key phrases and hand signals.
		- Smears, name calling  When the liar has no logical or reasonable sounding words to use, he may simply  start calling people names. - Guilt by association  The liar may discount or dismiss a person she is otherwise unable to deal with by claiming some link between that person and someone or something undesirable.